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To Begin Again

Anonymous Australian Single Mum Story | 18 January 2017




Australian single mother blog. Photo credit - Bigstock.com

I can't help and think

what happened? Where did I go wrong?

I always knew I wanted children from a young age. I remember giving them names, and declaring, I shall have two boys.

My marriage was all worked out too in my mind; I would be the perfect housewife. My husband would be hard-working, and would come home to find the house immaculate. The kids would run to meet him as he drove up the driveway while I put the finishing touches to our evening meal.

Needless to say, that is not my reality today. I am a mother to a boy and girl. I am separated from my husband and I'm not a house wife. I am a nurse - working daily, and coming home to cook and clean, do housework etc..

I am a nurse - working daily - Image source: Bigstock.com
I am a nurse - working daily - Photo source: Bigstock.com

I share my children with my husband, in the sense that he has them some days, and I have them the majority of the time.

As I sit and reflect on my life , I can't help and think: what happened? Where did I go wrong? I have been playing the same tape recorder in my mind for a very long time.However I have finally decided to stop looking at my past and move forward. It is hard to move forward whilst always looking back.

I am blessed to have two healthy, beautiful and gifted children. There are many women out there are not able to conceive and would give their right arm for what I have.

My children have to go between two homes which can be hard at times but they have parents who love them dearly and are invested in their future. I miss them when they are with their dad, but that time alone has allowed me to figure out some things about myself. I have rediscovered my hobbies. I have rejuvenated in their absence and prepare for their return - the school runs, after school activities and demands that come with having children.

I choose to live fully , to love dearly and to begin again - Image source: Bigstock.com
I choose to live fully , to love dearly and to begin again - Photo source: Bigstock.com

I am not the housewife I planned but I have learnt life skills from my job, such as time and money management, conflict resolution and computer skills.

The last one has been the hardest - but the one I have gained my freedom from: my ex- husband is finally free to pursue the life he has always wanted. It does hurt that it does not include me, but I would rather he finds happiness than be miserable and stay with me.

The Oxford dictionary defines perspective as a particular attitude toward a way of regarding: a point of view, outlook, viewpoint.

We do not have control over our circumstances, but we can control the way we respond to our circumstances.

I choose to live fully , to love dearly and to begin again.




An Australian single mum

Due to the sensitive nature of this article, this Australian single mother author has chosen to remain anonymous. Certain facts have been changed to protect the identities of any parties concerned.

Tell us your story - Photo credit: Bigstock.com

Are you an Australian single mother with a story to tell and would like it to be published on SingleMum.com.au? You can even be anonymous! Contact us here!


Further Australian Single Parent reading


Read the article..

Centrelink 2017 cuts single parents should know about
Jason Bryce | 12 January 2017

By now, you will have read that there are plenty of Centrelink changes that will mean a lot less money for you and your family in 2017. What you may not realise is that single parents more...


Mothers warned not to tell the truth in Family Court

Mothers warned not to tell the truth in Family Court
Maurice Kriss | 9 October 2016

One of the most mind bending decisions for a family lawyer is how to advise a mother whose child has suffered child abuse by a father or partner more...





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What does it mean to be a single mum?Of course, the

kids

are the most important thing in a single mum's life. Kids are the focus and always have been. But along with the children, there are other matters that can confuse a single mum's life.

Centrelink

plays a big part of a single mother's life, mainly because this is where a large percentage of single mums get their finances from. Centrelink are the source from where the

single mother pension

, or as it is otherwise known, the single parent payment comes from. The single mother pension is a subsistence amount, but just the same, it is money to live on, and so it is important, no matter if it is called single parent payment, single mother pension or whatever Centrelink welfare classes it at the time

Often, single mums come out of a

divorce

or defacto relationship only to find that their troubles have just begun, and find that their first step leads them towards Family Law - it's time to engage a lawyer.
There are more than just Centrelink finance problems to worry about, as mentioned before, but also

child custody

issues. Child custody is something that hits right at the heart of

single mums

. If a single mother's ex husband or ex partner has been a domestic violence perpetrator, the mum may be greatly worried about child custody. They worry that their kids won't be safe with their spouse, who has already proven to be abusive because they caused

domestic violence

, which resulted in a divorce or separation.

Even so,

Family Court

will often still order a form of child custody named

Shared Parenting

. Shared Parenting is a form of child custody division of time or parental responsibility between the parents. Mother's often look for a good divorce lawyer to try to avoid share parenting with an abusive ex-spouse after divorce, however in many cases Shared Parenting is still the outcome after the divorce, no matter how good the divorce lawyers have been. They will often settle for visitation at a contact centre or access centre where fathers or mothers are supervised during child custody access.

Please remember the bigger font words,because we will use it often in our website.