Australian Parenting Blog

To Begin Again

Anonymous Australian Single Mum Story | 18 January 2017

I can’t help and think

what happened? Where did I go wrong?

I always knew I wanted children from a young age. I remember giving them names, and declaring, I shall have two boys.

My marriage was all worked out too in my mind; I would be the perfect housewife. My husband would be hard-working, and would come home to find the house immaculate. The kids would run to meet him as he drove up the driveway while I put the finishing touches to our evening meal.

Needless to say, that is not my reality today. I am a mother to a boy and girl. I am separated from my husband and I’m not a house wife. I am a nurse – working daily, and coming home to cook and clean, do housework etc..

I share my children with my husband, in the sense that he has them some days, and I have them the majority of the time.

As I sit and reflect on my life , I can’t help and think: what happened? Where did I go wrong? I have been playing the same tape recorder in my mind for a very long time.However I have finally decided to stop looking at my past and move forward. It is hard to move forward whilst always looking back.

I am blessed to have two healthy, beautiful and gifted children. There are many women out there are not able to conceive and would give their right arm for what I have.

My children have to go between two homes which can be hard at times but they have parents who love them dearly and are invested in their future. I miss them when they are with their dad, but that time alone has allowed me to figure out some things about myself. I have rediscovered my hobbies. I have rejuvenated in their absence and prepare for their return – the school runs, after school activities and demands that come with having children.

I am not the housewife I planned but I have learnt life skills from my job, such as time and money management, conflict resolution and computer skills.

The last one has been the hardest – but the one I have gained my freedom from: my ex- husband is finally free to pursue the life he has always wanted. It does hurt that it does not include me, but I would rather he finds happiness than be miserable and stay with me.

The Oxford dictionary defines perspective as a particular attitude toward a way of regarding: a point of view, outlook, viewpoint.

We do not have control over our circumstances, but we can control the way we respond to our circumstances.

I choose to live fully , to love dearly and to begin again.

An Australian single mum

Due to the sensitive nature of this article, this Australian single mother author has chosen to remain anonymous. Certain facts have been changed to protect the identities of any parties concerned.

Are you an Australian single mother with a story to tell and would like it to be published on SingleMum.com.au? You can even be anonymous! Contact us here!

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Australian Parenting Blog

Thank God He Cheated

Anonymous Australian Single Mum Story | 11 August 2016

In the ten years we had been together

I had always trusted him…

I’ll never forget the moment I received ‘the email’ from my husband’s mistress. I was at work at the time. At first I thought it was some kind of joke or spam – until I scanned down and saw my 18-month old daughter’s name mentioned. My world stood still. I wanted to be sick. I picked up my bag, mumbled something about popping out and got in my car. I needed to be home before I could finish reading that email.

In the ten years we had been together, I had always trusted him. I could not believe what I was reading. It didn’t make sense. Blow by blow, line by line the details were delivered to me. It had been going on for 18 months. They had been in love. He had stayed with her for days at a time when he was in town for work. She knew all about me. He had told her he was leaving me, but he never did. He broke her heart and suddenly she decided I should know about what had been going on. I confronted him and he admitted everything.

Those next few days I felt mostly numb, exhausted. I just couldn’t gather my thoughts properly. The devastating pain came in waves. Mostly I just wanted him to come and tell me that it was all a bad dream and somehow fix it all. The one person I wanted to turn to to ease my pain was the one who had caused it, and suddenly I felt lost and alone and… homeless. I felt like my whole life was a lie. I spent hours just laying on the floor in my mum’s lounge room. I tried to eat but I literally couldn’t swallow food. I tried to sleep but for the first time in my life it required pills to do so.

I could not believe what I was reading – Photo source: Bigstock.com

I tried to tell myself, ‘It’s better this way. We haven’t been getting along. At least this way he’ll be amicable because he feels guilty.’ But then this quiet little voice would sneak in, ‘But now I know why he was treating me badly. Maybe now that it has stopped we can have a good marriage again. He ended it with her because he wanted me, maybe we’ve got our second chance.’

We went to counselling and within a few weeks I had moved back in. We were getting along better than ever and even talking about going overseas to renew our vows. I was journaling a lot and doing a heap of work on myself. I did reiki, used healing crystals and oils, worked with a life coach. I was on this incredible journey of healing. I really wanted to get our sex life back on track and I worked hard at being the seductress I thought he wanted. He liked it but at the same time I think he didn’t know how to take it. It’s like it all seemed a little too good to be true and he didn’t trust it. I just felt rejected and hurt.

Now and then I would ask a question about something from the past. Some detail about what they did together, or whether something he had told me was the truth. One night I uncovered one of his lies, and I lost it. It was like I suddenly realised how important this woman had been in his life, and how much of an idiot I must be for trying as hard as I was. I was driving this thing and deep down I didn’t even know that he really wanted me back.

Over the following weeks I started to see my marriage for what it was. I had never really felt fulfilled or truly loved by this man. I wasn’t sure that he even knew how to love someone the way I wanted to be loved. I didn’t know whether what I was looking for existed, but I felt that I couldn’t stay in a marriage in which I knew I would like never have it. I could stay and know I’d never be happy, or go and risk that maybe I wouldn’t ever be. I left.

Now I have a chance to be me – Photo source: Bigstock.com

I moved back in with my mum, properly this time. And the strange thing is, I felt SO bad for bailing on him. For giving up on him when he was making a genuine effort to work on himself. Throughout our intensive counselling he uncovered a lot about himself and I felt a commitment to help him through that. I just knew I couldn’t do it as his wife.

I look back at the last few months of my life and while I wouldn’t have chosen this chain of events I also realise that it had to happen. It had to be that bad, that painful. I would never have left him if it wasn’t. I wouldn’t have ever walked away from him if he didn’t do what he did and shatter me to pieces. Even when he did, I almost stayed.

Now I have a chance to be me. I no longer have to try and live within someone else’s value system in order to make them love me. As I write that I realise how sad it sounds, but at the time it just felt like compromise, and isn’t that what marriage is all about? I now see that I was actually compromising who I was. I’m now on a path to figuring out who I am, outside of being his wife. It’s scary and sometimes sad and confusing but I wouldn’t change it. Everything is different but I’m on a path to becoming more ‘me’ than I ever was.

So often these days when I speak to him about our daughter I have moments of deep gratitude. I thank God that he cheated on me, as if he didn’t I’d still be there. We’d both be unhappy and I wouldn’t be me. I’ve made myself a promise that never again will I change who I am to make someone love me, unless that someone is me.

An Australian single mum

Due to the sensitive nature of this article, this Australian single mother author has chosen to remain anonymous. Certain facts have been changed to protect the identities of any parties concerned.

Are you an Australian single mother with a story to tell and would like it to be published on SingleMum.com.au? You can even be anonymous! Contact us here!

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Australian Parenting Blog

Joint Custody – those two scary words

My Australian Single Mum Story | 8 April 2016

the two words that keep me awake in the

wee small hours of the night – ‘Joint Custody’

For the past eight years, there have been two words – two very little words – that make my knees buckles and my stomach flip. No, not head lice. Not even exploding nappy. No – the two words that keep me awake in the wee small hours of the night are ‘joint custody’. Even writing them makes me go a bit light-headed.

When I left my son’s father in 2008 – taking with me my two-year-old son – I’m not sure I’d even heard those words. It didn’t take long, however, for my son’s father to suss out their mystical, magical power.

And so, for EIGHT WHOLE YEARS, I’ve toed the line and done what I’m told, because the thought of ‘joint custody’ terrifies me. Because if I rock the boat in any way, my son’s father will utter those magic words and frighten me into submission.

Before you pipe up, I do acknowledge the other side of the coin. I understand what it must mean for a loving, devoted father to spend just a couple of nights a week with his child. I understand how heartbreaking this must be. I understand that a 50-50 split is – on paper – fair. I understand that for some parents, and for some children, this arrangement might work very, very well. But please understand that this arrangement is not for me. It’s not for my son.

I also understand that the Family Court doesn’t necessarily care what’s right for me, and what’s right for my son. Until my son is 12, they won’t take his thoughts and feelings into account, believing him too young to be heard. If he was at risk, yes, they’d factor that in, but right now, as it stands, if his dad turned around and said he wanted his son every second week, he’d get his son every second week, and no amount of shouting and screaming will change that. As it stands, the Family Court advocates for a child spending as much time with his dad as he does his mum. If the dad wants more time with his kid, then the dad gets more time with his kid.

For me and my son, the thought of a 50-50 split is unthinkable. My son isn’t particularly close to his dad – they have a strained, slightly awkward relationship – and he spends time with him under duress. That’s not just me making excuses, that’s a fact. When he was little, he’d be physically sick as we turned the corner into his street. Every. Single. Time. Now he’s older, he goes to his dad’s with a grim resignation, and comes back tired and sick and glad – so, so glad – to be home.

My son’s home is with me, his step-dad and his younger siblings. This is where he feels comfortable, has tantrums, walks around in underpants, and helps himself to my stash of Lindt in the pantry. We have our ups and downs, of course we do, but that’s real family life. This is his family! I can’t even imagine him not being here for 50% of the time. I’m a mum of three, not a mum of two. His life is here, his brother and sister are here, his friends are around the corner, his school’s just down the road, his soccer club’s a 30-second bike ride away. When he’s not here there’s something missing. Yeah, bedtime’s a bit easier, and we save a bloody fortune on meals out, but that’s not the point. We’re a family of five, and we’re lost without our eldest boy.

Right now, my son’s dad is pushing for more nights with his son. This has nothing to do with a genuine desire to spend time with his kid, and everything to do with him paying less child support. Fact. My son doesn’t want to spend more nights with his dad. I don’t want my son to spend more nights with his dad. Guess what? It doesn’t matter what he wants. If the father wants more nights, the father gets more nights.

You know what? If my son loved going to his dad’s – if it really was quality father-son time – then I’d have to suck it up. I would suck it up, because I understand that a kid needs a positive relationship with his dad. I’d miss him, but I’d deal with it, for the greater good. But this is about ticking boxes, and fulfilling obligations and – yeah – saving money.

The arguments and the negotiations and the threats tire me out. I’d love to say bugger it, have your son as much as you want, just leave me alone. But it’s not about me, is it? It’s not about the father, either. It’s about my son. My son doesn’t want to spend more time with his dad. My son wants to be at home, with me, so I’ve got to keep fighting the good fight – for my kid.

An Australian single mum

Due to the sensitive nature of this article, this Australian single mother author has chosen to remain anonymous. Certain facts have been changed to protect the identities of any parties concerned.

Are you an Australian single mother with a story to tell and would like it to be published on SingleMum.com.au? You can even be anonymous! Contact us here!

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Australian Parenting Blog

My Threenager

Surviving three year olds!

Amy Ahearn | 16 March 2016

My youngest daughter was a glorious two-year-old.

Curly hair, bright eyes and a grin that you couldn’t resist. She was what day care workers and babysitting friends called a delight; happy to play with others but just as happy on her own, calm, easy-going, placid and giggly. A darling, a gem, a sweetheart and the apple of my eye.

What happened? I hear you ask. You’ve probably picked up on my use of past tense, you clever things. I will tell you, dear reader, exactly what happened.

She turned three. THREE.

Two of the many faces of the average Threenager –
Photo credit: Amy Ahearn

It was a gradual thing, this threenagerdom. She went to bed as a darling of a two-year-old and woke as a darling three-year-old. The real change didn’t happen overnight; I think it’s taken maybe two months or so to kick in. But kick in it has. I mean, she had her moments at two. Don’t they all? But they were just moments and they weren’t all that frequent.

Three year olds, however, are an entirely different species to two year olds at times. The moments my darling had at two, she still has. But at the age of three, they last longer and happen far more often. At three, it seems, humans start to develop all the big emotions and then begin experiencing them. Often simultaneously. All of that happens in a body and mind still too little to cope with them rationally. So, irrational it is!

Take last week, for example. My sweet little girl had a delightful meal of fettuccine bolognese. It was packed with hidden vegetables that were further disguised by a light layer of cheese. It went down a treat. I smugly congratulated myself; I’d made enough so that the next night, I would just have to reheat leftovers.

She has perfected the pout – Photo credit: Amy Ahearn

Instead, I made sure she was safe for the moment and stepped outside. I had grabbed my mobile and quickly phoned my best friend for a small vent. I quietly explained the dinner dilemma.

“The pasta, she says, is too square. It’s inedible.”

“It’s exactly the same as what she scoffed last night?” she asked.

“Yes. But tonight, it’s rat poison. Because square. ” I may have raised my voice ever so slightly and looked to the heavens when saying this.

“Because square?” she asked.

“Because she’s 3!”

“Ahhh. Threenagers”, we agreed.

Yesterday, the issue was somewhat different. “Come here, sausage!” I called to her. Sausage has been her pet name for some time due to her fondness for sausages and love of rolling around as if she is one. Cute, right? In this instance, I was harshly corrected. In an angry voice, I was informed that she is not, in fact, a sausage. She is a coconut.

You are what you eat… but she is NOT a sausage! –
Photo credit: Amy Ahearn

What kind of mother doesn’t even know her child is a coconut? This one.

I’m not the only bad parent here, though. The other day I was met at the bathroom door (I had the temerity to close it for less than two minutes’ privacy) by a wailing threenager who was devastated because her brother talked to her. He has some nerve, that guy.

Despite all the mood swings, I love this age. At 3, they are starting to strive for independence but they rely on you to show them how to do things. They are funny; not always on purpose but this kid has me in stitches most days with her antics. And their emotional outbursts are sometimes heart-burstingly lovely rather than exercises in frustration. My threenager has been known to stop mid-swimming lesson to call out “Mummy! I love you SO MUCH!” before grinning and carrying on.

Every age group has its challenges, (and as a mum with teens in the house, I know this only too well!) but threenagers certainly also have their own rewards.

Amy

Amy Ahearn is a shift-working mum and step-mum who fills in her few spare moments by throwing her thoughts and opinions at the Internet with reckless abandon and questionable aim. Her blog is www.handbagmafia.net

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The Organised Mummy – Renee Bennett

Renee Bennett is an Australian author, teacher and mother.

Articles written by The Organised Mummy for SingleMum.com.au

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Resident Blogger The Organised Mummy

Holidaying with the family on a budget

Plan your family-fun getaway!

22 April 2015 | The Organised Mummy

About The Organised Mummy – Renee Bennett

Renee is an experienced educator who specialises in literacy for young children. She grew up in a single parent home and is a regular speaker to community groups around Australia on this subject. She now has three children of her own.

Renee is author to the newly released picture book Imagine We Were. It’s available at good bookstores or from the publisher Wombat Books.

You can read The Organised Mummy’s full profile here

Read more SingleMum.com.au exclusive Mum Blog articles

Disclaimer: The views of authors on our website are not necessarily representative of those views of our website. Articles contain only general information, correct at the date of publication. For advice regarding your own personal circumstances, always seek individual advice from a qualified professional. This article may not be reprinted, reproduced, or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of SingleMum.com.au. Please read the complete Singlemum.com.au Disclaimer here

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]]> https://singlemum.com.au/features/blogs/budget-holidays-16042015-renee-bennett-2/feed/ 0 https://singlemum.com.au/features/blogs/single-mum-children-02092014-blog/ https://singlemum.com.au/features/blogs/single-mum-children-02092014-blog/#respond Wed, 03 Sep 2014 13:32:59 +0000 https://singlemum.com.au/?p=1893 Q & A – Single Parenthood is not a choice. A mum’s defence of single parent families 03 September 2014 | Anonymous Share I felt compelled to write this after watching a Q & A Festival Of Dangerous Ideas episode.. I felt compelled to write this after watching ABC’s Q & A (Qanda)”Festival Of Dangerous … Continue reading Single Parenthood is not a choice →

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Q & A – Single Parenthood is not a choice.

A mum’s defence of single parent families

03 September 2014 | Anonymous

Share

I felt compelled to write this after watching a Q & A

Festival Of Dangerous Ideas episode..

I felt compelled to write this after watching ABC’s Q & A (Qanda)”Festival Of Dangerous Ideas”” episode (Monday 1 September 2014) with an all women panel, and hearing Kay Hymowitz’s comments on single parent families.

As a single parent it was hard hearing her saying that “on average, children of single parents will fare worse in life than those with two parents….”

My immediate response was visceral, angry – how can it be true that my son is potentially condemned to a lower quality of life because I made a stupid choice of partner at 19 and went ahead with a pregnancy?

I’ve tried so hard to make amends – finished a law degree, working full time now, engaged my family in supporting him too. I’ve had a second failed relationship since his biological father – does that condemn him twice as much I wonder? I have to step away though from my individual circumstances.

I read through some Twitter comments on the episode and was particularly struck by criticisms of the other panellists’ responses: “You can’t respond to aggregate data with individual stories – it doesn’t disprove the overall, average trends…”, they (probably quite rightly) pointed out. And yet in parenting it’s so hard to get away from the individual – to force yourself not to be overcome by the extreme emotional guilt of feeling you are failing this innocent vulnerable child you have brought into the world. Your first response is to want to tell your own story – to say that your child will be OK because you are doing your bloody best! Though when I think about it more rationally, by focusing on myself I realise that in fact I’m not asking some very important questions.

I’m not a researcher or statistician and I haven’t delved into Kay’s claims in any depth. I haven’t questioned, or even checked, her sources. I’m taking her claims of what the evidence portrays to be true. And if they are, then we need to ask why this is the case – and we need to ask what we can do to improve the circumstances of children of single parents.

It’s not at all helpful to simply say single parents’ children end up worse off….

All that does is heap guilt on parents who are already feeling like they are trying their hardest to keep their heads above water.

I think it’s fair to say that very few people actively choose to be single parents. Relationships are hard and I would hope by now most of us have accepted that staying together in unhappy relationships for the sake of children is entirely destructive.

In asking why, perhaps we’ll be forced to recognise that the systems we have set up in our societies favour two parents….

Our working day is longer than our school day – it’s hard enough negotiating that with two working parents, let alone only one. So as a working single parent you rely on family if you have it, or you bear the cost of before and after care programs with half the resources of a two parent family.

And you don’t have another parent who can share the time you have to take off work when your child is sick. You don’t get to attend the Friday drinks or other evening social events unless you have family or can afford a baby sitter.

You still have to do everything two parent families have to do – feed, clothe, shelter and nurture your child – but again with half the resources. And no, even with child support payments (if you’re lucky enough to get it), you’re not going to be as wealthy as two parent families.

Although it is slowly changing, your child will most likely be subjected to a very normative view of what their family should be at school – the stories they read and the discussions they have in classes about families will often reflect a two parent family, potentially contributing to a sense of insecurity or abnormality about their single parent family.

And in asking what we can do to change the circumstances of children, we’ll have to ask how we can better support single parents to face these challenges.

We’ll have to look at increasing our financial and community supports and about genuine flexibility in workplaces.
To other single parents, I want to say that what these statistics tell us is not that we have failed but that society is failing us

We aren’t getting the supports we need to make sure our children have equal opportunities. We are doing what we can with what we have and often we are working twice as hard as most other parents to keep our families together. We deserve better than this and we need to start speaking up about it.

An Australian single mum

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Creating a Christmas Count-Down Calendar

Make an Advent Calendar – with a Twist!

04 December 2013 | The Organised Mummy

Christmas would not be Christmas….

…without a countdown calendar!

Christmas would not be Christmas without a countdown calendar!

It adds to the anticipation of Christmas!!

It would be super easy to just grab a licensed calendar from the supermarket, but why not add a twist to it this year! I use my countdown calendar to have fun, create excitement about Christmas, but also it’s a great opportunity to reinforce your family values!

I’m one of those mummas who like reading parenting books in my spare time. From everything I’ve read, the experts agree that one thing that helps kids stay strong through their teenage years is a strong sense of belonging. If they don’t find this at home, they’ll go elsewhere, often to places and people we won’t approve of. One great way to create a sense of belonging in your family is to have traditions.

Traditions create a strong sense of ‘who we are together’

What better time to introduce some family traditions then at Christmas?

So back to the countdown calendar. It’s a definite tradition in the Bennett household!

You just need to make one initial investment – some sort of countdown calendar you can use every year, with pockets or boxes. I got mine for under $10 at IKEA

Now, just so I’m not labelled that ‘freak mother’ who’s always doing weird hippie things –

here are some stock standard idea for the treats they have come to expect…

fill a few boxes with Lollies, candy canes etc
have a mini treasure hunt by leaving a note in the box that says ‘go look under your pillow’. Then leave a Santa chocolate under there
put a gold coin in a box or two
leave a note saying ‘this is a voucher for one drive through Maccas Icecream

Make your own mini treasure-hunt – with a hidden choccie!

However, the rest I’m very purposeful about using to reinforce values and character that are really important in my family.

Here are a few examples, but you can create your own…

do something kind for someone else today and be ready to share what you did around the dinner table tonight
do the dishes for mum today
write a nice letter to someone who is alone this Christmas and we’ll post it
take on an extra household job today to help lighten mum/dad’s load
you write out a pass that let’s them off all their jobs for the day
write them a little letter yourself telling them why you love them and what you admire about them

Use your Advent calendar to help your kids do good in their home and community!

I want my children to grow up thinking about others and totally convinced that Christmas is more about what they can give then what they can get. I want them to feel loved by my actions and words more than by the presents I give them.

So Merry Christmas and happy count-downing to you and your family.

X x Renee

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When SingleMum.com.au received a Disney On Ice VIP Event invitation we knew just who should attend and report back – one of our Facebook mums! Successful Facebook reviewer mum Belinda Duffy gives us the run-down on how their special single parent family Disney On Ice VIP day went!

There is nothing my 3 daughters love better than the Disney Princesses…

…well except for maybe Tinkerbell!

On Monday we were treated to a private ice skating lesson at Macquarie Ice Rink from the amazing Disney On Ice Choreographer.

Jade (7) and Ella (4) were so excited to be able to go and see Disney on Ice – as we were catching the bus to the Ice Rink, Ella was telling everyone where we were headed. I didn’t really know what to expect on arrival, but once we arrived, the girls just wanted to go on the ice. This caught me a bit by surprise, so a quick dash had to be made by me to a nearby store to grab a pair of socks each for them to be able to wear the Ice Skates.

The girls received expert Disney On Ice instruction – including how to fall the right way!

The girls were sized up for their skates, and then they were ready to go. First they had to be taught how to fall correctly, so that they wouldn’t hurt themselves – and of course how to skate! The girls were paired up with their private instructor Lina, and then off on the ice they went – a few spins and twirls (actually, maybe a few falls and spills) were had as they spent around 40 minutes on the Ice.

I spent most of the time snapping away taking photo’s, and trying to stop Grace (2) from running out onto the Ice with her sisters (I thought it was a little dangerous for her to go out alone, and I definitely was not getting out on the Ice – since the last time I tried was back in 1997 and I just skirted around the edges of the Ice Rink – I could picture the broken leg that I would have already!).

Once Jade and Ella had finished their private lesson, we were greeted by Snow White and Dopey – how absolutely excited were my girls! There were high-5’s all around, cuddles, hand holding – and of course a lot of pictures were taken to remember the moment.

We’re skating! By the end of their private Disney On Ice lesson the girls were going great!

Thanks Single Mum Australia, for the opportunity for me and my girls to take part in this special day!

The Disney On Ice VIP Event was reviewed by Belinda Duffy, a www.SingleMum.com.au Facebook single mum from our Australian Single Mother Facebook Community

Enter a world of wonder where heroes and princesses prevail

Disney On Ice Princesses and Heroes is coming to Australia

TOURING 14 JUNE – 21 JULY 2013 Tickets on sale NOW!

Purchase tickets from Ticketek: 132 849 or www.ticketek.com.au/disneyonice Tickets start from just $28.50. Additional discounts apply. For more information visit www.disneyonice.com.au

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