4 Ways Your Child Will Embarrass You In Public

Cringeworthy confessions..

from an red-faced mother!..

It happens to all of us. There is something that your child will do that will make you turn bright red and feel like running for the hills. You can count on the fact that at some point in their younger years, your child will do something publicly that will have you feeling like you’re dying inside.

So if they haven’t done at least one of the following yet, consider yourself one very lucky parent – so far!

Dance off

The worst has happened – your child has apparently inherited Aunt Madge’s awesome dance moves – and they’re not afraid to show it! Have you ever seen an intoxicated person under 3 feet dance? You get the picture. Be prepared for said dance moves to break out at any family gathering, including weddings or parties – wherever your child hears a beat.

Dance off.

Grab the camera and let them dance until their little Kevin Bacon Footloose feet tire out.

Bosom buddy: Boobs

There I said it. We are all adults here. There is just something magical about a woman’s breast to a child (or your partner, for that matter). Be prepared for a nice unwarranted boob grab, honk, pull, twist, juggle or hit. If you are really lucky, your little one will wait until you are in a crowded public place before he/she performs all of the above as a combination.

Best advice

Laugh it off and tell any onlookers that it will cost them.

Gossip Queen

You have been less than pleased about Uncle Billy’s last family dinner appearance – he showed up late with his hot 20 something girlfriend hanging off his arm, successfully fulfilling the role of ‘The Creepy Uncle’ to the full. Now, thanks to your child and their ability to repeat everything like a Parrot, the rest of the family has been informed by your child that ‘Creepy Uncle Billy is a jerk’. Oops.

Best advice

Tell the family and Uncle Billy that junior has been watching too much television. Make a mental note to keep your mouth shut around your child in the future – at least when you are bad-mouthing the relatives!

Strangers Beware

You have been worried about stranger-danger in the past, however this time the tables have turned, and it’s the strangers that you need to worry about, and not your child. Kids have that uncanny ability to just blurt out whatever comes into their head. Shopping malls, grocery stores and parks can be high-danger zones for a ‘Hey Mum! She has green hair! He’s weird! fat! thin!’ Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Best advice

Run and never look back as you shout ‘I’m sorrrryyyy!’

In all seriousness, there will be plenty of times you will have that Homer Simpson ‘Doh!’ moment brought upon you by your own offspring, but it’s all part of the fun of growing up. You will learn to laugh it off – and don’t forget to write it down to read at their 18th birthday party! (Pictures are an added bonus!)

Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects such as health, parenting, child care, babysitting and full time nanny tips.

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