Australian Separation and Divorce Articles

A mum and dad guide
to parenting after separation

Child-focused share parenting

Mark Gallagher | Relationship Therapist and Psychotherapist | 20 August 2014

Couple Giving Two Young Children Piggyback Rides

Child focused parenting during separation

Parenting your child after separating from the other parent can be difficult at times. It’s at stressful times of transition, like this, when a child needs each parent to be focused on the child’s needs.

Unfortunately, too many parents behave badly and play nasty tit-for-tat attacking games, using the child as a pawn.

Even if your child’s other parent is acting like a control freak, it’s important to behave like a mature adult for the sake of your child.

The following steps will help establish effective boundaries for each solo parenting household
(you can print a copy of the below table here)

Mum’s time with the child

Dad’s time with the child

Her time / her responsibility.

Her lifestyle choices / routine.

Her way of parenting / discipline.

Only polite and brief talk with the other parent, that is child-focused. No deep and meaningfuls about personal stuff.

If your separation is still new and raw then email or text communication might be the cleanest way to sort arrangements (Do not harass the other parent).

Your child is not allowed to complain about Dad’s style of parenting. Do not pry into your kid’s life with Dad.

Make an arrangement on set phone calls from Dad each week when your child is with you.

Keep to the routine; yet be flexible and swap nights when something out of the ordinary comes up, like a funeral or parent sickness.

His time / his responsibility.

His lifestyle choices / routine.

His way of parenting / discipline.

Only polite and brief talk with the other parent, that is child-focused. No deep and meaningfuls about personal stuff.

If your separation is still new and raw then email or text communication might be the cleanest way to sort arrangements (Do not harass the other parent).

Your child is not allowed to complain about Mum’s style of parenting. Do not pry into your kid’s life with Mum.

Make an arrangement on set phone calls from Mum each week when your child is with you.

Keep to the routine; yet be flexible and swap nights when something out of the ordinary comes up, like a funeral or parent sickness.

Print a copy of the above table here

Mark Gallagher
Grad Dip Psych, B Soc Sc, Dip Coun, Cert Couple Coun, Cert Mediation

Relationship Therapist and Psychotherapist, North Lakes, Queensland.

Mark specialises in family therapy and couples counselling. With 30 years experience he offers a high standard of service. Couples and family counselling is a specialised field. Not many counsellors and psychologists are formally trained in couples counselling. And even fewer of those trained are male counsellors. Mark was trained in couples counselling 20 years ago and currently use the latest developments in the field.

How to contact Mark:
Email: mjgallagher@live.com.au
Phone: 0434 611 494