Expert Opinion Panel
Stephen Page – Lawyer
Staying sane when breaking up
Stephen Page | 12 April 2013
Here are the top 9 things to do…
to stay sane after a breakup!
Probably the hardest job that exists in the world is being a single mum or dad after a breakup.
Having to go through a relationship breakup with all the pain associated with that – loss, being financially devastated from the breakup, and most importantly caring for children – is extraordinarily difficult.
Just because lots of people go through it doesn’t make it any easier.
Here are the top 9 things to do to stay sane after a breakup…
It may sound strange to say to laugh after a breakup, but whatever you do, don’t lose your sense of humour no matter how bleak your circumstances. It will make it easier to bounce back.
- Let go of being angry
Being assertive and insisting on rights or the protection of children is not the same as being angry. In the very short term anger may be an appropriate emotion. It can cause us to focus on actions, but in the medium and longer term it leads to bitterness and it will drive away everyone you ever loved, including your children. Don’t poison the world
It’s essential in my view that you talk to someone who is trained, dispassionate and objective and hopefully supportive, namely a good counsellor
- Stay safe
Domestic violence is all too prevalent and it’s essential that both you and your kids are safe.
- Have a support network
I can’t emphasise how important it is to have family and friends who can help you through the most difficult of times. Often the process of talking through the problem will help solve those problems. Avoid doing it around the children. They don’t need to hear adult talk.
- Get fit
There is no excuse not to be fit. By exercising you feel better from being stronger and fitter. You absorb oxygen and you release endorphins. One of the beautiful side effects of exercise is clearing the mind of the build-up of rubbish that exists every day, which is completely refreshing.
- If needs to be, get a good lawyer
This isn’t suggesting that you should be going out for a fight. But it’s important that if you need to, to get good legal advice about money matters or children.
- As far as possible, be financially secure
This may mean going to Centrelink, and asking for child support. It may mean having to get a job, but the greater financial independence you have the greater your independence overall.
- Despite all the hardship, recognise that you are free!
About the author…
Stephen Page is a partner of Harrington Family Lawyers, one of Brisbane’s oldest boutique family law firms, and is also a member of the SingleMum.com.au Expert Opinion Panel. Admitted in 1987, Stephen has been an accredited family law specialist since 1996. A co-founder of a domestic violence service, Stephen has been a member since 1999 of a committee for a court based domestic violence service and since 2008 a board member of a charity linking business with the domestic violence sector…read more of Stephen Page’s Profile here
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