The best of the Australian single mum Facebook support group

Here at SingleMum.com.au, we don’t just celebrate being single – we shove it right back in smug couples faces like a badge of honour! This is especially the case on Valentines Day.

Valentines Day is for single-pringles like you to embrace their single Facebook status and really enjoy the day – instead of couple-dodging in fear.

It’s time to throw those tired, dusty old silk rose tubes out the door, and get started on your new Valentines Day traditions – celebrating you and your kids.

Take the wheel of Valentines Day like a boss! Don’t believe us? Just ask our  Facebook single mum group members who recently posted a list of things single mums do (or don’t do) on Valentines Day.

So without further ado, and in the order they were commented in our group, here are 100+ things Aussie single mums do on Valentines Day!

What do single mums do on Valentines Day?

1. Drink wine…. watch netflix
2. Spoil yourself
3. Have a special night together with my boys – call it love day 😉
4. Teach your child Valentines doesn’t have to be about the love of a partner
   But the love of a parent as well
5. My mum and dad have been my valentines every year..Take my daughter out for tea and ice cream 🍦
6. I am buying a Valentine’s present that I am sharing with my kids. First time I am celebrating Valentine’s as a single mother
7. I’m taking my 2yr old daughter and her 3yr old “boyfriend” out to dinner for their romantic date
8. My daughter and I will go on a cruise for lunch 😊😊😊
9. I always pick my girl up from school with a single red rose! Put little tradition and she feels so so special when I bring it to class ❤️
10. Make myself a mini roast and watch horror movies once my 3 year old has gone to bed
11. 
12. I’m going and donating blood this year then taking myself to breakfast afterwards ❤️
13. Just spoil my son with a day out or something usually. Haven’t had a serious partner since his dad 😏
14. Wait for the day after so I can buy myself chocolate on sale
15. Love is love. It doesn’t have to be romantic love. I’ve celebrated Valentine’s Day for many years and I love that we have a day to celebrate love! Celebrate the love for your parents. Celebrate the love for you siblings, grandparents, friends and colleagues
16. I get my daughters a card, chocolates and flowers every Valentine’s Day 🥰 then we go for a picnic lunch
17. Me and another single mum are going out for dinner lol
18. I have always shared it with my kids even while I have a partner my 4 girls and son get a rose each some chocolate a glass of fizzy with a nice cooked dinner by candle light every year they are my main loves and always will be
19. 
20. My first Valentine’s Day as a single mum after being with my husband 13 years so I’m going to spoil myself, was hoping I had a new boyfriend but that hasn’t happened 🙄
21. I celebrate with my daughter and how much we love each other
22. I’ve always taken my son for lunch. He is four now and will do the same 😍
23. We me and mini me have a dinner date together with our favourite foods and things ❤️
24. Dinner with my little one and he pays:)
25. Do your own thing, whatever makes you happy.
26. go jetskijng 🤣🤣🤣🤣
27. Special dinner and movie night in bed usually ❤️
28. I’m thinking of having a ‘hearts day’ with my two littlies. A day of celebrating how much we love each other and that we are a team
29. This year. I’ll be finishing work early, taking the kids fishing off the pier, walk along the beach on the way home, then cook my favourite dinner, after I put the kids to bed I’ll be having a candle lit bath, chocolate and ice cream on the couch
30. I take my daughter (5) on a dinner date
    We also gift each other a Pandora charm
31. File for divorce… well that’s my plan …
32. Buy my daughter a rose and love her!!! But I have done this for years even when my partner was round. 😘
33. I go on a dinner date with my bestie. Last year we were in Queensland.
    This year I’m thinking of organising a big single mums breakfast.
34. daughter and we do something together- watch movies or get take out…
35. Sleep
36. Take my children out to dinner .
    Because they are the love of my life
37. 
38. I used to take my daughter and I out for our favourite dinner and we gave each other a gift 🙂
39. Celebrate the love I share with my children
    I don’t think of it as a day of romance I think of it as a celebration of the emotion of love
    And the love I have for my children is the purest most intense love I can feel
40. I do mummy and son dates with my 11yr old son and go out to lunch or picnic at the park or something
41. Well my ex husband left on Valentine’s Day. So last year (one year anniversary of breaking up) I had dinner with friends then had a piss up at the pub
42. Same as always nothing.
    But if you want to create new traditions with your children go for it I say.
43. It just doesn’t exist…but then it didn’t partnered either 💁
44. I’ve taken my kids out, I’ve gone out with my sister and also just spent it as a normal day 🤷🏼‍♀️
45. My separation happened the day before when my ex broke my trust. I bought my girls roses the next day because they are my loves.
46. I buy myself a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine. I only did this last year and it was also when I moved into my new place after separation. I love thwt I got my freedom on valentines day 🤗
47. I enjoy the company of my son and have for 4 years
48. Celebrate with my mum and daughter 😊
49. It’s my birthday so I get takeaway so I don’t have to cook and I have a few drinks to drown my sorrows 🤣
50. I’ve always taken out my children it’s a day for me to celebrate my love for them💕
51. I Buy my children a rose each n some chocolates n tell them I love them unconditionally forever .. bcs they deserve to know what love feels like . Even though I love them everyday!
52. Nothing. wish I had a partner
53. Netflix with cat
54. Whatever we goddamn want (as long as you have money, and a babysitter, and not currently suffering from social anxiety or major depression). Woop woop!
55. My little girl is my valentine ❤
56. Just a little picnic or something like that 🥰
57. What’s valentines? Lol..
58. Same shit different day
59. Have a dinner at the pub with the kids 💪🏽🍾❤️
60. 
61. I have previously had my daughter as my valentine to spoil. I just had my second daughter so I’ll be buying them both a valentines bear & making a special meal for them both etc (although this year that’s breastmilk for the youngest lol)
62. Go out with my son because it is his birthday.
63. I do it with my girls. They are my Valentine as I am there’s. We love each other. I buy them roses each year.
64. Going out with my mum and son
65. I’m going to go climb a mountain called ragged jack 😂😂🤷‍♀️ getting high on Jack is my plan lol
66. Valentines day was the day I moved house in 2020 so, my 2021 Valentines Day will be chocolates, homemade fine dining with candlelight and a nice bottle of Moscato.. and a nice vase of roses just for me and my daughters. 😃
67. Sometimes my son gets me a plastic rose. Or I get me a box of chocolate
68. Same thing I did when partnered. Fuck all cause it’s a crock of shit
69. Make a beautiful lunch for myself and kids and go to park maybe
70. Nothing I thank god that I don’t have a lunatic in my life ( ex husband ) and a stalker in my life ( ex partner ) 😂😂😂
71. Spend the day with my little true love 💓 it’s about love not being in a relationship I say
72. Tinder guys 🤷🏼‍♀️
73. Last year i took my kids out for ice cream this year im thinking dinner
74. stay home workout
75. Get the kids babysat, smash some bags and go bang a few tinder fellas.
76. Take my boys on a lunch date (they pay but I give them money) and then give them money to buy me chocolates and flowers. I am training my boys well!
77. Same as i did when i was married…. Everything i do on any given day. Only this time i wont be disappointed 😂
78. Take my daughter out for a date 💕
79. My daughters and I usually write little notes to each other and cook some yummy dessert!
80. Set out a date night for you and your children. Last valentines I put out candles orders pizza and made deserts set it out on a picnic blanket and enjoyed my beautiful daughters company. That’s real love 💕
81. Eat chocolate and ice cream that I buy for myself and feel sorry for myself 😢😢😂
82. My daughters with her dad every Valentine’s Day (since it’s his birthday) so this year I’m going away for the weekend to a nice hotel, and getting spa treatments, and going in the hot springs and taking time out for me for a change
83. Go party hard kiss a few random
84. Vday doesn’t make me sad im so god dam happy im single I love it 💞
85. I am actually doing a grave yard tour.
86. Celebrate 🎉 freedom
87. Throw a party for being independant
88. This last year I bought myself two orchids
89. I plan to celebrate with my children whom I love and friends .I’d rather go without anybody for one day of the year than to stay in a toxic relationship. For me needing somebody on Valentine’s Day is just a mindset .
90. Teach your babies the meaning of love, I have always cooked a roast and decorated our kitchen area, I want my 3 sons to know how to treat a lady and how they deserve to be treated
91. Sitting here atm watching First Dates Australia ans im feeling so relieved im not on the dating scene anymore. 😂
92. Spoil my babies.
93. 
94. Buy my baby a Valentine because she’s my forever valentine
95. Celebrate freedom with charged batteries
96. Make more chocolates and eat them.
97. Sleep 🤪
98. Whats Valentines Day? 🙄😂
99. Buy my girls a bunch of flowers each. They are my valentines..
100. Get a card & a present for my daughter & take her out instead. She is the love of my life after all ❤️
101. But I usually buy the girls a present each with some chocolates and we do a special dinner
102. But myself something I want and enjoy it! 😍
103. Dont know 🤣 this will b my first one single
104. I buy my kids little Valentine’s bears and let them know that they’ll always he my Valentine’s
105. Spend it with my girls and my parents 😂. I’ve been 3rd wheeling my parents Valentine’s forever HAHA. My daughter’s always make my dad a special Valentine’s Day card at school, he’s been their hero forever
106. Sfa!!
107. I used to have a valentines day lunch with my children lol I’d dress then up and buy them gifts and cook us a special lunch
108. I make it a special day for my sons. I do a very day themed lunch box for school if its a school day. Our yr 12s every yr run a v day fund-raiser so I’ll send my boys a card, lollies and a sing-o-gram 😊
109. Valentine’s Day plan: 1. Breakfast in bed 2. Chocolates 3. Watch movie 4. Dinner for two. 5. Regret eating two dinners.’
110. make a special dinner for my kids 🙂 they are the loves of my life and I want to thank them for being amazing through some hard times.
111. A special dinner with my daughter 🥰
112. I’m doing a trail run with another single friend 😂 If I had my kids home we would do something together. None of this woe is me because I’m single on V day that’s for sure.
113. Last year I took my little one out for dinner ❤️he loved his “ mum n Bub” dinner
114. Celebrate being single 🌺
115. Might make a nice dinner for the kids and I, but that’s it.
     Never did anything while married either as he wasn’t romantic (with me). If I tried to organise anything, it was nearly always one-sided. I’m not bitter at all. 😂
116. I took my son out for lunch and to the trampoline place.
117. I buy myself a gift. Self care and self love first
118. Spoil yourself and teach your sons how to take a woman out and spoil them/ his mum
119. Take my little boy on a dinner date 😊 Waaay better than with a man anyway!
120. Carolyn Saunders
     Drink/bbq at home and rejoice in not paying triple at at a venue🤣🤣🤣💞
121. Well I’m gonna sit on my ass, watching animal nature shows while eating popcorn.
122. I bake cupcakes with the kids we cook an eat dinner of there chose an snuggle up watching movies eating cupcakes an chockys an it’s the best Valentine’s date ever
123. Watch true crime, and tend to my plants🤣 might splurge on a new plant maybe🤣
124. Take your children out for dinner
125. I buy my kids gifts and we celebrate happy love day. Done it for years and they even started buying for me too ! ❤️
126. We usually do a special meal and share the ways we love each other- my children are 8 and 11
127. I buy myself a bunch of flowers to brighten up the place
128. Take my son on a mummy & son date and enjoy the moment.
129. Cook an extra nice dinner at home for my kiddies and I 😊
130. I buy my son flowers and chocolates because he’s my valentine (but we just call it love day)
131. Ummmm dress up and look hot for yourself once the kids are asleep, have some wine and get lit. Have some quality you time and reflect on why you’re amazing and rocking your single mummy life, feel proud and then go to bed satisfied because you are doing great
132. Go out with other single mums 😊
133. Cook something yummy for myself and my son. ❤️
134. For those who are bored 🤣🤣🤣 #justkidding #calmdownkarens
     ‘If you’re bored on Valentine’s Day just go up to random couples in restaurants and yell “Who the hell is she?!” Josh Weller Gjoshweller Spending my Valentine’s outside a nice restaurant shouting ‘WELL YOU MOVED ON PRETTY QUICKLY’ to random couples walking in’
135. I celebrate my son’s birthday! Otherwise I get all the single ladies together and have a nice brunch or lunch with a few drinks 😊
136. Take my children on a date night 🥰
137. I take my girl out last Valentine’s day I bought a heap of snacks, movies and face masks ect and me and my girl did a pamper day and movie night
138. Netflix and chill…. by yourself 🤣
139. I still celebrate valentines day but with my daughters, i buy them gifts and they gift me and we celebrate love day with a beautiful candle lit dinner, just because I’m single doesn’t stop me from showing the love to the real loves of my life, my children
140. Masturbate #selfcare
141. Is Valentine’s Day still a thing?? Didn’t do anything the whole 10 yrs I was married.
142. Flowers, Uber Eats & Netflix kid free 😂
144. Get together with girl friends and have Gal-entines day!
145. I’m thinking of taking my son on a lil date 🥰 and a play at a park/ playground (he’s 2)
146. Buy flowers for myself and think I deserve it😊😊😊
147. Eat Pasta
148. Catch up with my girl friends or treat my 3 little girls to a yummy dinner 🥘 Who needs men lol 😆
149. Treat yourself lol with a massage
150. Thinking of having a few days away with my son. This is my first year on my own and it’s also our wedding anniversary 2 days later so need to be distracted
151. Sit down with my babies do a dinner they make me cards at school lol but is our dog birthday so we more so celebrate that
152. I Laugh 😂 coz I’m free from negative relationships in the past and anyway it’s my bday the next day lol 😂 so we just all go out anyway
153. Usually a little family date night with my son and mum with our favourite cuisine. If it’s a daycare day I go for a swim and sun bake or bushwalk to a waterfall and celebrate the love I have for me 🙂
154. Buy roses and smell
155. I’ve planned a weekend away with my girlfriends ❤️ first Valentine’s Day single (and it’s my birthday too) and I cannot wait 🎉🍾👯‍♀️
156. Masterbate in the mirror lol
157. I usually have a small treat with the kids.
158. treat myself 🙂
159. Enjoy all my best moment with ppl who i love the most. Myself and my children 💕
160. I treat myself from the kids
161. Grab your besties and have a Galentines Day instead
162. I’m taking my kids out for dinner they are my special dates 💗
163. Same thing I’ve always done – nothing.
164. Masturbate. 🔥
165. Spoil yourself and live it up and go out to a nice restaurant with a girlfriend or your kids. Put it on your credit card if you must. That day stands for true love: must celebrate that!
166. I take my lil guys out for a picnic ❤️
167. Make little baggies with goodies and affirmation and hand out to random people. It’s nice to show kindness whether they need it or not
168. I don’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day, regardless of my relationship status 🤗
169. Nothing. Just another day
170. date
171. Celebrating Chinese New Year. First time in 3 years now. Not seeing any family for 2 years is bad enough. Now it’ll be 3 years if there’s still no international travellers allowed till end of this year.
172. 
173. Celebrate single awareness day.
     Or really nothing. It’s not like it’s Xmas, Easter or Halloween
174. Taking my kids out for dinner. Buy my self roses
175. What they do every day pinky, try to take over the world!
176. Eat chocolate, like every other day 🤣🤣🤣
177. I treat myself. I usually buy myself some flowers or a nice candle and then grab some take out and watch a couple of romantic comedies 😊
178. Nothing… The same as I did in my 2 marriages 🤣
179. Enjoy my life hahaha
181. This year I’ll get my girls a chocolate rose or something after all it’s just a bloody gimmick holiday
182. Treats with my kids so we can celebrate our love for each other together. Sometimes I give them cards, or take them for icecream, or make a formal dinner at home
183. I used to get my single girlfriends and their kids around for bubbles, bbq and cake! We gave each other small gifts too… was fun!!! Now I buy my kids a valentines cake for biscuits ❤️
184. I order myself flowers and chocolates and act surprised
185. Spoil themselves & have a special dinner with their children 🥰

Read all 364 comments in the original Facebook single mums on Valentines Day post here

STILL want a man? Join our Australian single parents romance Facebook group here

So there you have it – you are so much more than half a couple – embrace Valentines Day in the nature it was intended – celebrating the love in your life – be it you, your friends and/or your gorgeous kids – have fun!

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

Do you have a Valentines Day idea to add to the list? Comment it below!

The post 100 things Aussie single mums can do on Valentines Day (no man required!) appeared first on Singlemum.

The best of the Australian single mum Facebook support group

Your wedding gown is often one of the big symbols of what getting married meant to you. So after separation and divorce, it’s becoming frequently more common for the ex-bride to to wreck the dress. For many women, that means – trash it! Burn it! Paint it! Or recycle it, and cut it up into tiny little pieces…

Our Australian single mum support group members often like to share pictures of them trashing their wedding dress after their divorce is finalised. Each time these pictures are posted, the overwhelming response from the other group members is – you go, girl!

After all, there’s nothing that says “I’m putting this mess behind me” quite so eloquently as destroying your dress from the big day. Even better, throwing a divorce party and inviting all your friends around to witness the silk, satin and tulle-textile carnage.

Of course we don’t all feel this way. Many mums treasure their wedding dress as much as they ever did, or just leave it hanging in the closet.

However if you’re one of the ones looking for other ideas on what to do with your wedding gown after your marriage breakdown, well…here’s our mums’ top-5 ways to “recycle” the heck out of your wedding dress!

1. Trashing your wedding dress

I trashed my wedding dress on my divorce day. My friends and I went to the beach and they all helped me trash my dress. It was an empowering end to my marriage – Jasmine Kilmartin, Single Mum Support Group member

I had a divorce party, had the dress hanging up so the guests can spray it with food colouring in water pistols.  Then I put the dress on, had everyone tear it off me…. and THEN I happily threw it in the bin! – Tarryn Bond, Single Mum Support Group member

I video my daughter throwing paint at it haha together for 6 years – told me 2 weeks before that he wasn’t I love with me anymore so on the day I was to get married we had fun trashing it with paint, then ripping in to bits – hahaha – Single Mum Support Group member

Lol I trashed mine – Single Mum Support Group member

2. Burning your wedding dress

I burnt mine in a barrel – Em McCarthy, Single Mum Support Group member

I put everything and I mean everything in the fire pit and set fire to it!! – Single Mum Support Group member

I burned my dress to a crisp and took a smiling pic in front lol. The burn mark is still in my driveway unfortunately – Single Mum Support Group member

Having a trash the dress photoshoot in the new year, where I am planning to burn it –  Single Mum Support Group member

3. Redesigning your wedding dress

I have used mine but altered it for 3 Halloween’s, and my oldest 13 has used it for cosplay – Elizabeth Cobern, Single Mum Support Group member

4. Repurposing your wedding dress

I ripped mine and used it as a backdrop to take photos for my small business – customers loved hearing the story – Single Mum Support Group member

I had parts of mine made into keepsakes for my daughters – Single Mum Support Group member

5. Dumping your wedding dress

I just left it behind lol – Single Mum Support Group member

Bonus round – involuntarily trashing your dress by having it stolen

My ex husband dropped mine off at the tip. I drove there two days later and it was gone. It made me so sad – Single Mum Support Group member

I actually would like to get mine back, but it is at my inlaws and I am not likely to be able to get it – Single Mum Support Group member

So what do you think? Did you burn the dress? Trash the dress? Or treasure it as much as ever? Comment how you handle the wedding dress after divorce dilemma, below!

 If you enjoyed this article please give us Facebook like or share, or leave a comment below to keep them coming! 

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post Top 5 Aussie ways to trash your wedding dress after divorce appeared first on Singlemum.

A common complaint we hear from our single mum support group is that people seem to think it’s okay to say really insensitive things right to their face just because they are a single parent  – and not even realise they are being offensive!

One of our Facebook single mum group members recently posted her list of things people often say to single mums. Pretty soon more of our single mum group members jumped on the bandwagon, adding what they had experienced. Before we knew it we had a huge single mum complaints list!

Our list includes all of those crazy, annoying – and sometimes plain outrageous – things that acquaintances, ex – and potential – partners, mothers, sisters, ex-mother in-laws, random men and even friends – think it is okay to say to single mums.

We’ve listed them here for your entertainment – because if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry – but at least we know we are not alone in being the target of frequently ridiculous, sometimes rude and hurtful, incredibly ignorant remarks. They are listed in no particular order, and many repeat common themes.

So without further ado, and in the order they were commented in our group, here are…

200 offensive things that are frequently said to Aussie single mums

1. I’m so jealous of all your free time when your kids go to their dads.
2. Don’t worry, you’ll find a partner… just stop looking/when you least expect it – ‘you need a partner’!
3. Yeah I’m like a single mum when my husband goes away for work/golf/fishing
4. Just work more hours
5. Maybe you’re too picky
6. You need to love yourself first, no one will love you if you don’t love yourself.
7. Can’t you just leave her with your mum?
8. Oh you will have so much money now on spp (Single Parenting Payment) (not).
9. What do you mean you need a break?
10. So how often does he (the ex) see the kids?
11. You shouldn’t worry about finding a partner, you need to just focus on your daughter
12. Why did you have kids if you can’t afford them?
13. I don’t date single mums. No offense – if you were a catch he wouldn’t have left.
14. Didn’t you work out how you got pregnant the first time?
15. Don’t you get pregnant again, make sure you’re married next time
16.  Oh you definitely won’t be having more kids now
17. I ran into your ex…
18. Oh you don’t want another partner – look at how that turned out last time
19. At least you don’t have anyone to cook for apart from the kids
20. Oh you just take away your child from the father so you can get Child Support and Centerlink as an income.
21. Your fault for having a kid with a dickhead.
22. Didn’t you know what he was like when you were with him?
23. I’d rather be a single mum (like you)
24. Do they all have the same father? 
25. Oh my husband sits on his bum all day so I’m basically mum and dad too
26. I feel like I’m a single mum as he’s never home and doesn’t help with housework. You have it so easy
27. You’re single? Ain’t you lucky!
28. Perhaps next time don’t get engaged and forget the marriage thing… you’ve got three kids as it is..
29. So do you reckon you will ever get a job?
30. Oh you’ll be right. My husband is like another child anyway.
31. Well if you can’t handle your kids then send them to live with their father
32. Oh your kids have the same dad, thats surprising 
33. You had your turn to be in a relationship and be happy. Now that’s over so get over it.
34. I’m just like you, I’m single parenting tonight as hubby is away!
35. You need to put yourself out there!
36. Can’t live in the past forever!  (I’m a widow)
37. Don’t worry you’re young, you have plenty of time to find someone who will love you
38. At least it’s only the mess kids make and you don’t have a husband to clean up after
39. Just come for one drink there is plenty of time. Get someone else to get the kids
40. It’s time to concentrate on your kids.
41. Oh well. Time to move on. No use being sad.
42. Oh well at least you’ve just got the one to worry about
43. Oh what a shame you’ve just got the one and now with no dad around your son won’t have a brother or sister
44. Wow, 3 kids and your single… are you going to have anymore?
45. You struggle with 2 I did it completely alone with 4 (mother)
46. Your house should be spotless only 2 kids (mother)
47. You kids never did this/that  (All from my mum)
48. If you only have two days a fortnight free you can’t expect anything more then a casual f*k really
49.  Do you plan on having more kids?
50. Why have more kids if you can’t handle the ones you have…
51. Be careful, once the kids are grown, you’ll be all on your own, with no one to take care if you!
52. Oh you have it easy, you only have one child
53. Just because he left you for another woman, but still wants to be part of your child’s life, doesn’t make you a single parent… you’re just single.
54. C’mon lets go out n find you a husband (So simple)
55. Do they all have the same dad?
56. Aren’t they better off with their dad if you have so many mental health issues
57. Oh how nice of your ex to babysit!
58. Oh wow you have 6 kids so must must love sex
59. I have four children ….“What, was your tv broken?” 
60. Have you been on the dating apps? 
61. To a single mum of a child with ADHD/ODD/CD/SPD (and being testing for ASD): Oh, we know what you’re going through, we’re parents too. [the Dad] has to lay down with our son for almost half an hour every night or he won’t stay in bed
62. You’re not a single parent If you get child support 
63. I know what it feels like to be a single parent – my husband comes home and sits down and does nothing to help out 
64. I so know what it’s like to have kids…I just got a puppy
65. You’ve just got to be positive
66. I know what it’s like I live with someone who has kids
67. What do you do all day?!
68. Maybe you should consider parenting differently 
69. It’s easier on your own
70. Wow your kids don’t have the same dad? That’s disgusting.
71. You shouldn’t have your kids if you’re not mentally stable 
72. Why are you lonely, you have your beautiful kids
73. My partner is FIFO I know exactly how you feel
74. No one’s relationship is perfect
75. Well you chose to have children with him
76. Medically diagnosed anxiety and depression –  apparently if I was just more ‘positive’ it wouldn’t be an issue. Thanks Karen I never thought about that
77. Your daughter goes to bed early, what’s your problem?
78. It was your choice to have kids
79. How can you say you’re lonely when you’re never alone.
80. I’m so sorry.. (I’m not – best decision I ever made)
81. You need to put them into care so that you get time for yourself/ why put your kids into care if you’re not working, save your money.
82. Let’s find you a boyfriend
83. It just breaks my heart for the children 
84. Aren’t you lonely? 
85. You are not the only mum! ( from my ex in-laws )
86. Stay strong
87. This soon will pass… (9 years of litigation lol..)
88. How have you not become an alcoholic already? 
89.  Do you really want that to be your child’s story? Why don’t you wait until you find a man to have more kids? (Donor egg Mum)
90. We didn’t invite you as thought you’d be uncomfortable being the only single
91. Just focus on the kids, they are your number one priority
92. “You’re better off single/ a husband is just more work / I wish I didn’t have to worry about anyone else”
93. My husband works all the time. Poor me.
94. Maybe you should have tried harder to make the relationship work…
95. Dont worry he will see what he has missed and come back to you.
96. You don’t need a boyfriend because you already have kids so it doesn’t matter if you don’t find someone
97. You don’t need a man. You are a strong and independent woman! I envy you
98. You can’t be lonely. You have a daughter that loves you and is always with you
99. Oh well, keep buying lotto tickets.
100. You have your kids… (state the obvious Karen. Hahahaha)
101. Haven’t you got the best life, always out doing stuff.
102. Just feel lucky you get a break, we always have our kids
103. You made your bed you lie in it 
104. You are getting older, can’t afford to be too picky in a partner.
105.  Maybe drop your standards a bit 
106. Just find a baby sitter
107. Can I come over when your kids are in bed  (yes, of course, strange man I’ve never met, by all means come to my home when my kids are asleep. )
108. Oh kids are expensive, I have to work as well as hubby, because we can’t survive on just one income.” (Even though he earns $140k)
109. I wish I were a single Mum so I got to feel sorry for myself all day
110. HOW are YOU single?!
111. You’re so beautiful, how are you single?
112. You should of known… (my ex husband was a cheating narcissistic pig, who was going to ruin me. I should of known. Thanks for that lol)
113. I would have invited you but you have…. ‘ pause… and my child’s name. 
114. Surely your family help out? 
115. Well best you think about the choices you are making, this was ultimately your choice.
116. Why didn’t you stay with your husband, so your kids have both parents.
117.  What were you thinking?
118. Do they have the same dad?
119. Your life is over, you can’t go out anymore, time to stay at home and look after your spawns 24/7 like a good mamma bear bitch
120. Why didn’t u make the relationship work cos u have a child
121. Do you know who the dad is?
122. Hmm – you should hurry up and have more kids before the age gap gets too big. (Yea ok cool, who with exactly?)
123. Just hit your ex up for more kids, better that they have the same parents.
124. I don’t know how you do it all, being a single mum
125. You should already be in a strict a routine
126. I dont know how u do it
127. I couldn’t do it
128. Why did you stay with him so long/have kids with him if he’s abusive…
129. Geez how do you do it with twins and the dad not in the picture, you mustn’t get any time to yourself it must be so hard on you
130. Yeah I’m like a single mum when my husband goes away for work/golf/fishing
131. I work in childcare so I know how hard being a single mum is
132. If you couldn’t take care of them then you shouldn’t have had them.
133. What does your husband do for work?  (Me: no idea. But I ll let you know when I meet him)
134. (when people learn that my son is gay) “That’s because he hasn’t had a male role model in his life “ or “That’s from being a mummies boy”.  
135. He shouldn’t have to pay child support, you chose to have the kid
136. What do you do in your down time? (Down… time….??? What is this foreign concept?)
137.  What are you going to do with all your child free time?
138. Wow you must love all the money you get for leaving him
139. You must get so much time to yourself
140. (When Dads say) “Yer, I’ll babysit for you”… (Like parenting his own child is doing you a favour!)
141.  Can’t you just leave him (my son) home while he sleeps and come over for some fun? (like yeah no worries ill just shaft my kid off for a complete stranger)
142. Can’t you get a babysitter for them? (Not going to get a babysitter just so I can meet up with you)
143. …really? Why can’t you leave him with a six pack of coke and some Doritos for when he wakes up? (Not a safety issue at all – really not a strong enough word for these idiots!)
144. Don’t you know what causes it yet?
145. Are they all yours?
146. (I feel sad when I only get invited over to my friends places when their hubbies are away.) “Hey, … is going on a fishing trip that weekend.  You should come over for a catch up”. (Like I’m in a position to drop everything when their husbands are away)
147.  U will find someone when u least expect it. 
148.  At least you can make the decisions alone’…
149. You’re lucky you get to stay home and live off the government for free you don’t even know how hard it is to have a real job, you’re just a dole bludger.. bet you don’t even know what a real job is anymore, I work hard like a real man.. blah blah blah” (…tell him you’ll happily swap and see if he’ll enjoy the hardest job in the world ie raising kids 24/7!)
150. So the kids asleep yeah?.. you want some company?”
151. It must be hard being a single mum
152. Apparently single mums are always up for sex, is that true? Can I come over when your kids are asleep?
153. I’m very quiet I can just sneak in and out” (hahaha I think the fk not)
154. I hope you have found the happiness you are looking for
155. I may as well be a single parent bc he does nothing to help me anyway…
156. Better to have been married once than never at all at least you can say someone wanted you once.
157. (When you say your a single mum and people say) Aw that’s sad (or) I’m sorry to hear that… 
158. Why don’t you go out and meet someone (new partner)
159. So do you reckon your child looks like his father?
160. Did he get anything from his father?
161. Does he see his dad.
162. You’re putting yourself out there in the wrong way
163. You need to look for men your own age
164. Who ever dates a single mother is an imbecile.
165. You need to lose weight first then someone will love you
166. Well who else will take you on with kids. 
167. Oh you’re single, don’t look towards my husband
168. What do you do with all the free time when the kids go away, wish I had that
169. Just send the kids to their dad’s and have some you time (Oh yeah let’s hit the town, spend all that money we have, who cares about catching up on home duties and catching up on sleep)
170. Do both kids have the same dad?
171. Is your current partner your kids dad?
172. Maybe if you smile more, a guy will find you
173. You need to find time for yourself too or you can’t be everything to your son.
174. You’ll find the right one someday
175. I understand….my husband doesn’t help so I’m pretty much single anyway
176. Four kids and single…you’ve got your hands full! (no sh*t)
177. You need to make time for yourself to relax and recharge.
178. You’re lucky you don’t have a husband as mine wouldn’t allow me to work after the kids go to sleep as i have to hang out with him 
179. Gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else  
180. I want your life!
181. Its your fault. you chose to have a kid to him.
182. I have kids AND a husband, and I work… Why can’t you?
183. I feel really guilty that I have a partner and you don’t
184. It’s okay I’ll be your baby’s dad instead
185. My husband works long hours and does nothing around the house or helps with the kids. I know how you feel being a single mum.
186. When the father says they are babysitting their kids.. 
187. You’ll meet someone when you least expect it
188. Must be nice to be able to hang out at home all day
189. You’ve been married before, why would you bother finding another man.. 
190. Oh so you will get Centrelink and child support, are you going to quit your job as you shouldn’t need to work anymore?
191. Why do you work if you’re a single mum?
192. Why don’t you reduce your work hours so you can be home more or take more days off?
193. Q. Do you know who the father is? (A. Yes unfortunately.)
194. You’re not the first person that’s ever had a kid
195. If you can’t handle the pressure why did you even bother having kids! 
196.  At least you don’t have more than one like me
197.  “Come out!” “Sorry I’m just not able too” “Just get a babysitter it’ll be fine” (sure except that I then need an extra $100 just to pay for the sitter!)
198.  ‘I’m single parenting this week while my husband is away’. (NO YOU’RE NOT!)
199. Awww if i was in your situation I wouldn’t cope without a husband
200. Find yourself a rich dirty old man and marry again

The original poster commented…

I think the lesson we can all learn from this is a stigma still exists in society for single mothers.

Whether we are 100% care taking with the role of mum and dad, 50/50 care or variations of shared care, victims of DV, single by choice, looking for a partner or even repartnered, we are all enough just as we are.

Put judgement aside and be kind to people you meet. Don’t be nosy in the name of being friendly. Just be kind. We don’t know what is going on behind someone’s smile.

A single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

Do you have one to add to the list? Comment it below!

The post Offensive things people think it’s okay to say to single mums appeared first on Singlemum.

The best of the Australian single mum Facebook support group

Feeling down after a break up? Perhaps you need a confidence boost? Have we got a playlist for you!

Many times Mums in our single mum Facebook support group have asked for ideas for musical inspiration to listen to after break ups, down-days and when they’ve felt they need a pick-me-up.

Chosen by single mums for single mums

We’ve selected some of the most popular, frequently nominated tunes by our single mum group members and compiled a Spotify playlist.

Have a listen – by the time you’ve finished you should be feeling super-confident and strong – ready to take on the world again!

 If you enjoyed this article please give us Facebook like or share, or leave a comment below to keep them coming! 

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post Stream our single mum empowerment playlist! appeared first on Singlemum.

Recently in our Single Mum Facebook group a mum asked –

How do you meet anyone normal for dating…those dating apps are full of sex-crazed guys that only want one night stand or sexual relationships that go nowhere at all… This is so frustrating!

The group moderators and group members agree that the following  reply was right on the money – what do you think? Tell us in the comments below!

This Single Mum support group reply 👏

Single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group

So what do you think? Do you have any dating app warning signs to add? Comment them here, below!

 If you enjoyed this article please give us Facebook like or share, or leave a comment below to keep them coming! 

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post Single mum guide to spotting an online dating jerk! appeared first on Singlemum.

A word from a single parent – we have no choice!

With the COVID-19 pandemic approaching its peak the government is steadily increasing lockdowns further each day to help stop the spread. As a result, Australian single mums have unwittingly become a target for abuse in supermarkets.

Many Aussie single mums are struggling to keep their kitchen pantry stocked with essentials during the Coronavirus outbreak. They are on a tight budget which demands living day-to-day, and doesn’t allow for stock-piling.

This means frequent trips to the supermarket in an attempt to obtain scarce food staples at the current time – and incurring extra travel costs each day to do so.

Basics such as mince, sausages, pasta, rice and toilet paper are often limited or not available at all, with bare shelves greeting shoppers on every visit, day after day.

Now there is an extra supermarket problem for single mums to deal with – shopper abuse

As part of COVID-19 social isolation measures, Prime Minister Scott Morrison recently stated that children should be either at school or at home . Many Australians believe this implies that children should not be out at all – including the one trip most single mums can’t avoid – food shopping.

In Woolworths, Coles, Aldi, IGA and even Kmart, many single mums are experiencing having to contend with dirty looks and even open abuse whilst they shop with their children – simply because they have no alternative but to bring their kids with them.

Australian schools are shut due to COVID-19

Compounding the problem, many childcare centres and schools have already closed, or are enforcing pupil-free days up until the school holidays.

The government directive on children staying at home has many Australian single mums asking – what are we supposed to do with our children when we are supermarket shopping and have no child minding options?

It seems the Australian government has not considered, or even acknowledged that not all Australian parents have a partner, family or fellow household member to mind their children whilst they shop.

Supermarket home delivery is currently suspended or restricted

The possible solution of Supermarket home delivery and Click and Collect services have also been suspended from general use, and are now only available to the disabled, elderly or self isolated during the COVID19 Pandemic period.

Woolworths Priority Assistance home delivery

Several single mums have reported success with being accepted for Woolworths Priority Assistance home delivery service – apply here

**UPDATE 29 MARCH 2020 – Since publishing our article Woolworths have change their terminology of this service and removed the words “pension card”. We still encourage you to apply in the hopes that commonsense and compassion will prevail with Woolworths**

Single parents under pressure

The removal of normal child minding outlets and supports, plus supermarket pick up services and home delivery options are all contributing  towards the increasing pressure on Aussie single parents to take their children with them to do the essential family food shopping.

However thanks to public perception and fear of abuse, some single mums are being intimidated out of food shopping altogether, whilst others feel they are being forced to endanger their children in order to buy the food required to feed them.

Leaving a child in the car or home alone is against the law

Leaving kids outside in the car, or at home alone  is child neglect. In states such as Queensland, leaving a child under the age of 12 at home alone is a crime.

However some single mums are now resorting to leaving their kids in the car or home alone in an attempt to keep their kids safe whilst getting the essential food to feed them.

Smart phone face-timing with children left at home

Other single parents are face-timing with young children left at home alone whilst they are at the supermarket, in an attempt to keep an eye on them from afar.

Older siblings caring for younger children

Many single mums are leaving their younger kids in the care of older siblings – some of which are not old enough to be at home alone themselves.

Supermarket shoppers can be hostile to single parents

The parents who do take their kids to the supermarket with them risk having to run a gauntlet of angry shoppers, mistakenly believing that they are deliberately and irresponsibly putting fellow shoppers at risk by bringing their children with them as a choice, and not a necessity.

This single mum fear and frustration is spilling out in our Facebook Australian Single Mum Support Group.

Here is one single mum post that struck a chord with so many of our Australian single mum members

“FOR THE LADY WHO ABUSED ME THIS MORNING at Woolworths in Kippa – Ring (QLD) and was wearing a Blue Care uniform:

(in regards to the priority hour shopping)
1. It just isnt for elderly people – it is also for disabled / vulnerable people
2. You yourself did not look to be over 60yrs of age
3. I actually qualify for online priority delivery but couldnt get what I needed online so had no choice but to go out into public to get it
4. I hold a disability concession card and was entitled to be in woolies before 8am this morning
5. I am immune compromised AND severe asthmatic – as is my 2year old
6. I had children with me because I am a SINGLE PARENT NO SUPPORT – and it is ILLEGAL to leave children under the age of 12 home alone in QLD. (Also cannot leave them home alone due to a stalking abusive ex / domestic violence situation).
7. It is actually none of your business what I am or am not entitled to – and your opinion does NOT matter
8. I had been trying for 4 weeks to get essentials to feed my children with no luck – we have gone without milk, bread etc. I WILL NOT LET MY CHILDREN STARVE because people like you make me feel sh*t for going out and trying to get supplies that we are entitled to.
9. It is rude people like you making this pandemic hell with your selfishness and lack of compassion for others

PLEASE BE KIND AND COMPASSIONATE – NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE – THE MAJORITY OF US ARE VULNERABLE AND GOING WITHOUT FOOD ETC TO FEED OUR CHILDREN – SO INSTEAD OF BEING SELFISH – TRY USING YOUR BRAIN AND MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS.”

By Anonymous – a single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group.

(The author of this post has chosen to suppress her name on our website, but is a current member of our single mum group, and has approved our publishing her post)

Single parents have the right to shop in the Supermarket with their children

If you have no adult-supervised childcare options available to you, and no grocery home delivery options, DO shop with your children – there is no law against it and leaving kids alone in the car or at home is illegal and dangerous.

How to shop with your children during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Firstly, keep up to date with the daily news and social distancing recommendations.

Before your shopping trip, explain social distancing to children old enough to understand. Teach your child that from the moment you leave the house until you return, the family must stay closely together as a group.

Give babies and toddlers something from home to occupy their hands and distract them from picking up items in the supermarket.

Before leaving the house, ensure that everyone goes to the toilet (to avoid using public toilets) and washes their hands with soap and water.

Apply hand sanitiser to everyone if you have some. Take along hand wipes, or a damp face washer in a zip-lock bag. If you have medical face masks and disposable gloves, you may also wish to use these as a further measure.

Whilst you are out, closely supervise your children at all times. When in the supermarket, don’t let your children leave your side and do not leave your children alone with the trolley whilst you retrieve items.

Be sure you observe all recommended public hygiene and social distancing instructions for the current restrictions in place, and for the store you are in. These are changing rapidly, so be flexible. Supermarkets will guide you via staff and signs.

Standard social distancing measurements are currently maintaining one and a half metres – or one supermarket trolley distance- between you and other shoppers or staff – and this goes for both you and your children.

Upon leaving, hand out wet wipes for hands, or use your damp face washer. Pay special attention to babies and toddlers hands after you’ve wiped your own.

When you have returned home, get everyone to thoroughly wash their hands with soap and water again.

Continue to wash your hands after handling any packaged goods from your shopping trip– some current recommendations include removing packets and discarding the boxes. The surface life of coronavirus on objects is a contentious issue of somewhere between five hours and three days.

Don’t leave your child alone to food shop

It is your right to obtain food to feed your family with your children present. If you encounter abuse, and feel unsafe report it to supermarket staff immediately.

Singlemum.com.au believes the Australian government should raise awareness publicly that there are situations where children accompanying parents or guardians on essential outings may be necessary, and is acceptable.

Single mums should not have to feel intimidated by engaging in essential family outings such as food shopping at this already stressful time.

Single Mum staff writer

Have you experienced supermarket abuse as a single parent? Or perhaps just been made to feel uncomfortable? Comment your thoughts down below…

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post Hey Australia- single parents HAVE to shop with their children appeared first on Singlemum.

A word from a single parent

Sometimes I lay awake and tearful at night wondering how I will give my children everything they need, while you, their other “parent” goes on adventures with smiles and cheers

Sometimes I miss their awards day because I have to get up early and go to work so we can buy food and pay bills, while you take holidays and enjoy care free time.

Sometimes I cry because I wish I could give my children everything lavish like holidays or movie trips without weeks planning and budgeting, while you take week long holidays in lavish places.

Sometimes I have to put off birthday celebrations for later in the day because i got called into work and every dollar I make is already accounted for, while you dont even contact the children to wish them a happy birthday

Sometimes I am in need of a break to revive myself because I’m running on fumes, while you refuse to even see your children let alone have them for a night.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the best I can as a parent, while you tell everyone you are a great parent but the children dont see it or you.

Sometimes I wonder if you will ever change and realise just how special these little people are, but then I remember you think you are the special one.

So I will keep working hard, to my very last breath to make sure my children are loved and supported, even though you try so hard to fight the small child support amount you are asked to contribute because you see, I AM a parent by every sense of the word, you are only a parent by word.

The children know who is there for them, the hard times we have conquered, the small memorable moments, the tickle fights, the laughs, the family movies while you, you are nowhere to be seen. And you will fade from their good memories, you will fade from their day to day lives and you will fade from their hearts as you have chosen. While i build them up, show them resilience, love and support.

My children will never hear me speak bad about you, after all, I dont need to, they see for themselves. They know who has been there for their bad dreams and night terrors, sickness, first days of school, heartbreak, parent teacher interviews with no excuses, no lies, no false promises. Just a parent who you despise, yet a parent who will keep doing this every day till my last because I will never abandon my children.

You chose violence and another partner so eventually I left because I chose my children and will always choose them.

Things may be tough and hard and draining but I have the best life when I wake up every day to these smiling, growing, happy children and I will mend the hurt you have caused and I will hope that one day you will give the word parent meaning not just say it.

Cassie Reid

Single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group.

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post Our single mums group loved this mum’s letter to her ex appeared first on Singlemum.

I’m a full-time working single mum with 100% care and I deserve a bit of spoiling – as do all the single parents out there.

Due to knowing I wouldn’t be getting much for my birthday, which I so look forward to every single year, I started getting a list together of what I could get for free !

This is my Australian company free and discount list that I have compiled over the 5 years I have been single.

Now I look forward to my birthday with such happiness knowing I am going to get super spoilt – I hope you find it useful too!

FOOD

Gloria jeans – free coffee
Salsas – free burrito
Muffin break – free coffee and muffin
Subway – free subway and 600 ml drink
Coffee club free coffee
Cheesecake shop – $5 voucher
Churros – 4 x free churros with chocolate sauce
Baskin and robbin a scoop of icecream
Krispy Kreme 4 pack of donuts
Red Rooster 1/4 pack with chips now changed to $20
Groovetrain free meal
Hogs Breath free meal
T2 – free takeaway tea
Spudbar – free spud
Nandos – free meal
Angus and Robertson- 5% off
IKEA – free birthday cake
The Pancake Parlour – free select pancakes
Hungry Jacks – free whopper (through the app)
Lonestar – free meal of $35
WA ONLY – The Gate – free meal
WA ONLY – The Quarrie Bar and Bistro – free meal
Ali Baba – free kebab
Gelato Messina – free scoop of icecream after initial $10 spend
New Shanghai – free basket of dumplings

SHOPPING

Priceline 15% off voucher
Adidas – 15 % off
Pandora – 15%
Speedo – $10 voucher
Sportspower – $20 off
Dusk- $20 voucher
Lorna Jane – $20 voucher
Spotlight – $10 voucher
Sheridan- $25
Millers – $10
Myer – spend $60, get $10 off
MyHouse – $20
Rockmans – 25% off
Cotton on – $10 you can use at typo, kids or body
Endota Spa – $30
Country Road – $15
Tony Bianco – $30
Cue Club – $50
Veronika Maine – $30
Witchery – $20
Koorong- 25% off
Chemmart Rewards – 10% off
Jeanswest- $10
JAG – $20
SABA – $25
Sportscraft- $20
Best and Less – 15% off
Autograph – $20
Strandbags – 10% off
Metalicus $20
Bardot/Bardot Junior- $20
Rivers – $10
Kiki K – $10 voucher
Bra n things $10 voucher
Mimco $20 voucher
Bonds $10 voucher
City chic $10 voucher

ENTERTAINMENT

AMF Bowling – 2 Free games of Bowling
Hoyts – Free movie ticket

Jody Tako

Single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group.

Please comment a thank you to this mum below for sharing her list, or feel free to add a freebie for other single mums to benefit from!

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

Disclaimer – Deals are current as of October 2019. Whilst all care has been taken with this list, company deals and offers often change and are not guaranteed. Please check with your local companies for their current free and discount offers.

The post This mum compiled an Aussie businesses birthday freebies list! appeared first on Singlemum.

I’m having a very proud single mum moment!

A couple of months ago my daughter said she wanted a loft bed, and after much research and having the tools and knowing how to use them I decided I would make one from scratch.

I set about to drawing my own plans and came up with the perfect king single loft bed.

I started buying the wood, nuts ‘n bolts, paint and got the project up and running. It was a long process…watching paint dry, literally!

I built it in my garage and was happy with it, so took it apart and began building it in her bedroom – only to run into some hurdles and needing to make some adjustments (ceiling fan, ladder position, etc).

I finally finished it and was all ready for my daughter sleep in it just moments before bedtime.

I’m so proud that I pulled this off without any help (apart from my daughter helping me get the mattress on).

My daughter is excited to tell her friends “My mum built me a loft bed”!

Who needs a man?? Not me 😁

Miranda Snowball

Single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group.

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post This Aussie Single Mum’s daughter’s bedroom DIY build is amazing! appeared first on Singlemum.

This article first appeared as a post in our single mum support Facebook group and was republished, with permission, due to its popularity.

So I had to fill in the honesty declaration for my relationship status for Centrelink and I couldn’t help but giggle about what my best friend wrote to confirm my single status.

Gotta love her 😂

Katie Harvey

Single mum, and member of the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group.

The complete Centrelink Form answer reads:

”Katie realised a long time ago that men are not loyal, not honest, talk too much, steal the remote and they smell.

She understood that being single, life could be run her way and devote all her time to her children and her profession.

She loves her children, herself and her job. That’s why she prefers to have dogs in her life who will sit on command, eat what she serves them, will sleep all day and be out of her way, don’t leave their clothes on the floor and don’t speak.

Katie hates that having a partner changes who you are and she isn’t looking for that change anytime soon, and if she needs a change it’s going to be the colour of her nail polish.”

We think Katie has a pretty great BFF there – it’s not often you get a laugh out of Centrelink forms, but she definitely nailed it!

You can join the Australian Single Mum Support Facebook Group here.

The post This single mum’s BFF answer totally nailed the Centrelink Relationship Status Form – and we cant stop laughing! appeared first on Singlemum.